an awesome re-enactment of a phone conversation I heard!

As I sit here in my 4 x 4 zone of happiness; wondering how things can get any better. When I walked in the door this morning the “Air Talker” was singing an unrecognizable song this morning loud enough to hear as soon as I walk in the door. Then as she walks past me I hear some strange noise that I can only describe as whining dog. Then when she sits down she makes a phone call loud enough for me to hear; that was several hours ago now and I have been sitting here debating with myself if I was going to write about this as I only heard one side of the story. Well the evil in me has won once again as I feel like I would be dishonoring the people that read this blog if I did not tell this story.  

Please understand I only heard her side of the conversation so I will be re-enacting the conversation as I can only imagine the person on the other end of the phone was saying to her line of questioning.

KEY…AT = Air Talker( this side of the story is what I know for fact)

            PG = Poor Guy( the poor guy having to talk to her)

AT – HI my name is ……..and I will be staying at your hotel next month and I have a list of questions.

PG-  Hello …….. My name is Poor Guy and I will be happy to help you today and answer whatever questions you may have.

At-   Well how big is the room I will be staying in?

PG-  We have a lovely 16 x 16 room with a view of the Sanfrancisco Bay

AT-  Well how is the bed?

PG –  The bed are all very comfortable and are new within the last couple of years.

AT -  Just a few more questions.

PG -  ok what now?

AT -  Do you have free HBO or Showtime? I do not care which but I would like to have one.

PG -  I am sorry we do not offer those as people with lives do not normally sit in the room while in this great City to watch TV.

At -   Ok well how much are your in room movie rentals

PG -  Well as they are in most hotels there is a pay per view price of $12 per film.

AT -  Well obviously I will not be renting a movie from your hotel! How close is the nearest movie theatre?

PG  - I am not quite sure; just use the internet or your cell phone when you get here to find the closest one. BTW…don’t they have  a movie theatre where you live?? Just stay there!

AT – This is now my fifth call to your hotel since I made my reservations and I do not want to have to call again! Has my reservation been noted that I want a microwave in my room?

PG – I have spoken to you 3 out of those 5 times and I have also noted what a pain the butt you are.

AT – What about a coffee maker?

PG – Yes we have a coffee maker in all the rooms.

AT – I know that but I want a full size coffee pot not one of those small ones!

PG – I am sorry lady that is all we have for the rooms is the smaller size coffee pots.

AT – I understand what is normally in there..but I want you to make sure there is a full size coffee pot.

PG – I wish I could even say I was sorry but no there will not be a full size coffee pot.

AT – I am not going to ask again; please tell your manager what my expectations are and I am not going to be calling again and I do not want to be disappointed when I get there.

PG – You are not going to call again? OMG that would be amazing ; can you please put that in writing? Now please call another hotel as we no longer want your business. Have a Spectacular day ! CLICK…

Ok since I could only hear the AT’s side of the story; I played the roll of what the PG should have said. I am sure he was much more patient then I would have been.

I hope you enjoyed my re-enactment of the joy I deal with on a day to day basis.

Until next time…..living the dream one day at a time as the world turns.

The story of my penance

I realize have not been real consistent the last few weeks with writing this blog. For a while I was just way to busy and then I just fell out of the rhythm. I also started listening to my sports talk radio every morning which is when I would get most of my motivation from the geniuses that I work with regularly. Well I am back sitting in my 4x4 zone of happiness today after attending a 5 hour training seminar yesterday. These training seminars include a wide variety of companies and people that do the same job as I do as well as attorneys as we all need a certain amount of hours to keep our licenses. So as you can probably imagine there are tons of geniuses at a place like this; the typical talking to themselves and asking questions so the rest of the room realizes how smart they are. I on the other hand never speak up at these meetings as I prefer to sit back and listen and let people inspire me. It is these people give me so much to talk about and I was excited to get some fresh things to write about. After all everybody is likely sick and tired of reading about the “air talker” or the brown noser. So I am sitting at a table surrounded by about 6 women and several of them are my friends as well as a couple of them who I have seen around town but have no good feelings or bad feelings towards them at all.  So here I am with my pen in my hand ready to take notes;  now to clarify I am not ready to take notes from whatever in the heck the speaker is talking about but I am looking for fresh blood. Somebody who is going to say something so intelligent that I am going to fall out of my seat and day dream about being as smart as them one day. Well obviously I do not have the luck of the Irish as all I hear is the “air talker” a few feet behind me talking to herself agreeing with the speaker like she was a lady in church agreeing with the sermon. Well that that is not all I heard actually; in fact I am hearing a lady interrupt the speaker over and over and ask questions mostly very basic. I believe it is probably because she wants people to know how smart she is and well she sure did that. Now we have all been told the lie since we were kids that there is no such thing as a dumb question. I beg to differ; this lady asked dumb question after dumb question till finally the ladies I was sitting at my table says to me and I quote “Who would hire that lady?” Now I kind of wanted to slide under the table or run for the door; assuming my bad knees and big belly would not get in the way.

I however did not do this; I had to step and make a confession after a full day of me rolling my eyes and shaking my head.  Fantasizing in my head about various ways to end my life; as anything was better than sitting there listening to this lady interrupt over and over again and with questions only a genius would know to ask. I looked this stranger directly in the eyes and said “she works with me”. Her response “I am so sorry, I will pray for you”. She however does not know me very well and she did not realize that working with these people is my penance for all the wrong I have done in my life.  All of the people that have read this blog some what regularly will know the person as the “brown noser”. So to clarify I go to a meeting with all kinds of people that could have stepped up and been sucker; but NO the only ones to do this are the ones I work with day in and day out. This is when I knew I had a lot more Hail Mary’s to say before my penance was done.

On another note today is St. Patrick’s Day; the day where amateurs will go and drink watered down green beer. However the people that do not need an excuse to drink on a week night will chase Jack Daniels with a shot of Bushmills. Whatever is your choice to go with tonight just be safe and never stop looking for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

Until next time……living the dream one day at a time as the world turns.

My super exciting adventure at the grocery store!!

So over time since I started writing this stupid little blog; I have told many stories and I would say the person that has been discussed the most is the “air talker”. I was never out and out mean to her but until this past weekend I never felt bad. So let me tell you why…

So Saturday morning I am up shaved and showered by 8am; hoping to look good for some of the ladies at the Weight Watcher meeting. It is true I attempt to attend weekly but most of the time I am just paying them to tell me I am fat! But hey I have to keep up the fight. So after my WW meeting I head straight to the grocery store inspired to buy healthy food. I walk straight past the chips and salsa; the candy aisle does not even get my attention. I pick up some non fat milk and whole wheat pasta and just for the sake of not wanting to be perfect all the time a few light beers. Well in the process I happen to see the “Air Talker” I quickly duck and jive and do a full on military dive to not be seen.

I then pull out a mirror and look around the corner to make sure she has not spotted me. So far so good; I quickly move to another section but at some point I have to go where she is slowly walking oblivious to the world. I think quickly what would Jason Bourne do? Would he sneak up behind her and put in her in a chock hold and gently take her to the ground? Maybe he would use a light weight tranquilizer to knock out his victim. Then back to reality I realize I am slow and over weight and having no fighting skills what so ever. My only hope is to the use the force or my cloak of invisibility to slide by her as I quickly walk to get my pork in the meat aisle. I trembling with fear that I will be noticed; she is only 20 feet from me. I am lucky at this point in time as she is looking down going through some meat now just 15 feet away; this is when I realize it is not funny any more.

It was easy to laugh when she would just be up at the coffee machine talking to herself. However now she is air talking right in the grocery store; was she asking the chicken legs which package wanted to go home with her? I honestly could not say; it was at this moment that I realized how sad and what a jerk I really was. Oh yeah and I better duck and run and get out of the store before I am caught red handed like a kid in a candy store.

Until next time……living the dream one day at a time as the world turns.