My super exciting adventure at the grocery store!!

So over time since I started writing this stupid little blog; I have told many stories and I would say the person that has been discussed the most is the “air talker”. I was never out and out mean to her but until this past weekend I never felt bad. So let me tell you why…

So Saturday morning I am up shaved and showered by 8am; hoping to look good for some of the ladies at the Weight Watcher meeting. It is true I attempt to attend weekly but most of the time I am just paying them to tell me I am fat! But hey I have to keep up the fight. So after my WW meeting I head straight to the grocery store inspired to buy healthy food. I walk straight past the chips and salsa; the candy aisle does not even get my attention. I pick up some non fat milk and whole wheat pasta and just for the sake of not wanting to be perfect all the time a few light beers. Well in the process I happen to see the “Air Talker” I quickly duck and jive and do a full on military dive to not be seen.

I then pull out a mirror and look around the corner to make sure she has not spotted me. So far so good; I quickly move to another section but at some point I have to go where she is slowly walking oblivious to the world. I think quickly what would Jason Bourne do? Would he sneak up behind her and put in her in a chock hold and gently take her to the ground? Maybe he would use a light weight tranquilizer to knock out his victim. Then back to reality I realize I am slow and over weight and having no fighting skills what so ever. My only hope is to the use the force or my cloak of invisibility to slide by her as I quickly walk to get my pork in the meat aisle. I trembling with fear that I will be noticed; she is only 20 feet from me. I am lucky at this point in time as she is looking down going through some meat now just 15 feet away; this is when I realize it is not funny any more.

It was easy to laugh when she would just be up at the coffee machine talking to herself. However now she is air talking right in the grocery store; was she asking the chicken legs which package wanted to go home with her? I honestly could not say; it was at this moment that I realized how sad and what a jerk I really was. Oh yeah and I better duck and run and get out of the store before I am caught red handed like a kid in a candy store.

Until next time……living the dream one day at a time as the world turns.